Hmm.. And all those happenings

Well, almost a year has flown before I start to write again. Now that I am in the West, the Occidental wind and weather has provided me with ample time and space to scribble all those happenings that I would very well wish to reminisce as and when my mind would will to wander in its own zone. The tight schedule of my learning and classes had kept me all busy and occupied leaving me no time to ponder over the good and the bad. Quite glad that I was able to accomplish some of my impending dreams that includes my level 4 (yeah, my hard work paid off ;) ) following more than two years of struggle and the much awaited travel.

 

The ultimate weekend of the course witnessed my camaraderie planning for a trip to Pondy that left me lil apprehensive of participating, given my tendency to feel withdrawn all these days. The last minute change of mind thanks to my delayed travel finally won the argument and I was all set for the  piqnique. So I had the opportunity to visit the formidable AF Pondy, the Consulate, the Ashram, the Mandir that bore a spherical shape with golden colored embellishments and the Samadhi. The tranquility of those places along with the cleanliness and the French architecture captivated me. Followed by a sumptuous meal, we started back by the same bus. The return trip was quite engaging unlike the morning one (which was full of the unimpressive 'I am so so' introductory bits), wherein my revered madame sat next to me chit chatting. Although I felt distant initially, I didn't have a problem managing the conversation. I was elated to hear her family (hi)story as well as to see those pics  of her family. As she narrated her brother's story I couldn't help myself think why certain things are unquestionable. Otherwise I was happy to let myself know of another family.

 

The next day I rushed to collect my attestation amidst all the railway mess and was happy to share a quick snack with the friends and bade them good-by. All of them wished me bon voyage. "Ayez un copain..", madame expressed her care. In response, my eyes drooped and lips smiled :). She must have observed some kind of helplessness in that gesture. Yeah.. I then quickly changed thoughts and  silently criticized myself of not knowing too many things to cook which resulted in a failed oath-taking :P. I felt touched when she gave a hug and heartily wished "Venez avec sourire". I will always cherish my days with the AF. Until the previous day my restricted senses didn't have the intellect that I would be flying so soon. All hurry burry started from that evening although I didn't let my purse leak too much ;) 

 

Apart from these, sadly some hard times have not found an escape route. The memory of a meet up with an elderly, especially, would never vanish even after ages.  It is very sorrowful that he (and of course, I) was not aware of his own time limitations as he uttered, 'the time is very short'. Maybe it was all sens-figure and I did not possess the intelligence to observe the hidden meaning. I ended up sobbing into my pillows most nights, not knowing who to blame. RIP, sir. May you find peace in the heavenly abode. I wish I had not met you. But then, life goes on!

Back Again

Life has been a roller-coaster ride for me all these months. Now looking at my blog after a really long time seeing the count makes me wonder if my blog site has truly garnered so many hits. Writing, in a way, had almost gone out of my mind; at times it even feels if I still possess the same passion for languages. Well, interests could change with time. But, not always. More than six months have run now and I have hardly written stuff. The very thought of penning struck as I was watching Sakshi, the actress filling up her journal in her tv serial. Never in my life all these years I have watched television serials, except for this one. I must admit I have become a fan of her acting skills.  That she portrays a character that I could easily relate myself to should be the reason, I suppose. A simple, independent and caring female facing all odds by herself is not too new to Indian cinema or tv, but this one is just amazing with all sequences and dialogues thoughtfully written. Back to track.

All these months have of course brought a bunch of changes professionally, although I am still the same. New people have entered into my life, or perhaps I have entered into their lives :P. Some random acquaintance has turned to be one of my best buddies, teaching me fun and care. Oh, and not to forget, I have of late been coincidentally meeting few of my school mates and it is nice to know how life has changed for each one differently, yet interestingly. Though I got to know some of their updates through fb and stuff, I don't actually hold any interest in socializing through such sites. It gave me immense happiness that even after a decade my school mates could identify me as much as I recognized them at a quick glance. :).

Notably, catching up with someone I truly respected and cherished made me ponder if I am that worthy of a person. I am still trying to be one. I also came to an understanding that certain things don't always change. You just can't change a person with a closed mindset. Yet, hope prevails that time might heal anyone. An uncontrollable defeat is at times inevitable, but that shouldn't be the end of your dreams. Easier said than done, I know! 

Otherwise, there has been some breathing time after months. I tried putting various efforts, some ending in vain. Patience is needed. May be I should wait. At times I question myself if my tolerance level has gone down. And then I pat myself telling, that happens and I will handle that. I can and I will. I am still indecisive with respect to future, but I am sure I would be guided in time. For now, I am grateful for everything that has happened. Thankful to God for making me believe that I too deserve to be blessed. There is still a long way, full of hurdles, ups and downs, but I am here to cross it all. Well, I am unsure if this post has made an interesting read, but it has actually read my thoughts. Time for a slumber and be back soon with other news!

In Memory Of...

...our beloved friend Ramaprabha. Happened to befriend her around three years back and this tiny, studious, intellectual girl caught everyone's attention in the French class. A quick learner she was, very friendly, amazing everyone with her language competencies. One of the very few people I have admired. Happens rarely. Very rarely. So in the morning, as the class commences very early on a lazy weekend, 7 AM, that is, our gang of guys enter the class with eyes drooping and hearts disinterested. The professor generally performs her duty very well. Starts the course sharp at 7 irrespective of who is seen attentive or who has shown physical attendance. This little girl sat next to me for almost all of the months she was pursuing level 1. And this means we had fruitful conversations, fun and all of that sorts. Not to forget the 'pause' in between, where we all used to have a chit-chat next to her scooter and indulging on her thayir sadham that early on a weekend, followed by some scoldings from our mam waving from somewhere to get into the class to which we finally budge, of course, reluctantly.

An alumni of Church Park school and an Engg. graduate with an M.B.A, turned as a Software Engineer at one of the top MNCs, here she was - focusing on yet another dimension - language. In retrospect, she was doing it all with so much of elan. I was equally astonished when she said she just loved her job too much. Many such times when I had observed her had repeatedly crossed this thought in my mind, 'May be I shouldn't have wasted so much of time in my life so far and should have kept my learning curve upwards, always upwards. Not even a linear one.'.. That actually made me take a silent oath. To keep learning. To keep on learning without a break in knowledge acquisition.

One of the cherishable times with her was when we had a number learning exercise wherein we had to listen to an audio and mark the respective number. The dumb in me realized that the audio read all the horaires in 24hrs format, only after the answers were read out. How struggling I was to map the hours with the ones in the book. But then here is the girl who did it all in minutes. Appeared as if I was in the first step of the mathematical ladder.  The funniest part is, even after all these years, I hope I am in the very same place!

Days disappeared in a blink of an eye with us reaching mid of the course. The most intelligent of all was about to discontinue the course, for an impressive offer came along her way from her bureau. This made her fly from India to Australia for the software project she was into. My life too on the other hand got occupied with work and stuff. Then came a call from her once that passed with a quick chat on our everyday life, mutual friends, work and blah blah.

With time grew the distance and as they say, 'Out of sight, out of mind'. While my days got busier we lost track of each other. It took almost two years to hear something about her through a common friend. Wish I had not not heard it.  Rather, I wish it hadn't happened. This little, lively girl had moved out of the world, maybe to somewhere in the universe, maybe to the same place from where she had come. I just couldn't help thinking. After so much of bringing happiness to everyone around, after so much of efforts to reach a state was in, was this all she deserved? Or will she be pushed down to earth by that gracious God to restart her life all over again? Even in that case, what meaning will her new life have? And still, what meaning did her life hold when she was alive? No answers. No one can answer. In this unpredictable short life, the only given choice is to live. To live every moment to the fullest. Who knows what will happen next?!

Of Life and Love

It has been quite a while since I blogged narrating experiences on personal front and now has emerged the trigger from nowhere. Life has crossed quite a few changes of late, with me observing it rising and falling on its own crests and troughs. All is well, nevertheless. Days of relentless restlessness then followed by joy. Ray of hope evidently beaming at the end of the dark tunnel. While I write this, I remember one of the many verses that caught me as I read the hope rendering Sundara Kanda. The verse read something like this - "One who tolerates difficulties during the toughest of times will finally find happiness as he comes through it". Completely true. Such happiness arrived at after going through a number of challenges also tells you how determined you are. God had tested me on the same, I believe. When things didn't turn out as it was expected, following my heart to eventually come out of it all did really turn out for good. It also reminded me of how well-determined I am in what I thought I wanted. Not always do I know what I really seek for. At times, nonetheless, the intution knows. Or the instinct. May be the heart. Whatever. God has been kind to me recently. Or it is just that my stars are aligned now.

And then the feel of caring and being cared for. A soul-filling sense of being wanted. Of being unconditionally loved. Of trying to love unconditionally. That which makes you full yet empty. Besides that, the smile and love of a kid. A learning from a baby on how to live in the moment. A learning on caring for others. A difference really made deep inside knowing how life turns beautiful when affection and care are showered on you regardless of whether you deserve it or not. Especially to be concerned for loved ones expecting nothing in return. The joy of giving without looking for a reward. Often there is also a fear of losing loved ones arising along when love is abounding. I consciously remind myself at those moments that there is love all around and that I am never left alone. Followed by a whole lot of thoughts that couldn't be just captured.

"Everything is as it is meant to be". May be I would get it if at all I wished for something. Or it is just that what I deserve would be granted to me and there is no point questioning. Probably I would force myself to accept things as they turn out. Or I would give it a fight. Or I would remain confused leaving it to time as in most cases. Destiny might drive me, rather. In any case, what would happen next is a mystery. With faith, a pinch of determination and a little courage do I follow my heart. There have been quite a little successes and a lot more of failures. There is still a dream. There is still a wish. There is still a future. There is still a hope. :)

Blank

Just a mundane post though I wanted to write about a lot. It has been quite a time since I sat down for a soulful writing but believe me, my time has been utterly worse. I wish to jot down my experiences with few people, equally good and bad and how I have been doing of late. Few of my acquaintances making me feel low with or without their talks, one friend lighting up my eyes and spirit with her good deeds and much more.. Also wanted to write on those incidents I had had months back with a lady who claims she is spiritually inclined while there are no signs of it in her normal doings. That only increased my irritation which is in other cases undeterminable is. With all these pending to be scribbled on my blog, I go blank all of a sudden which is probably 'coz my life has been strolling downhill these days. My bad!

Whatever I had planned and supposed would happen turned topsy-turvy. There is a constant feel now of being locked in a dark room with no way out or a helping hand. This is a sad phase that has drained me in and out. Rather, a blank phase wherein I am completely indecisive and in the worst case, not knowing what I want or what I should do. There are too many questions answerable by only time/God/destiny though there are people who genuinely care for me. So I choose to wait. Happy that I am able to atleast decide on this. Few years back, once I was telling my friend that I would soon come to a decision on my personal and professional life, on what I want from life or what I would do in life. It was like hitting my head hard when she responded, "Personal and professional - There are only two lives for anyone my dear". This phrase stuck a blow on me affecting me deeply 'coz in a sense it was true and I remained confused in both aspects. Years have crossed and the question still remains. No answers could be found by the insane me. Time must disclose its secret holdings someday or the other.

There was a post from a friend on his first wedding anniversary which made me wonder how fast time flies doing its job perfectly. Looks as if we just attended his wedding ceremony. Otherwise my blank state is perpetual and as soon as I turn ok, there would be my next post and I just anticipate that it isn't very far from now. Wishing myself a very good luck! I shall terminate this post with a quote that I always consider it is written FOR me by Dr.Weiss. As it goes, 'Patience and timing is very important. A life cannot be rushed, cannot be lived in a schedule as many people want to. Everything will come when it must come.' 

Unanswered Questions

Recently I was impressed by a weekly column in a newspaper, which was a translated extract of Paulo Coelho. The article suggested handling a white sheet of paper to school kids and asking them to pen down any kind of questions they had, about the world and our existence. They were requested to write them as it would give them better chances of thinking and a deep concentration. The list of common questions was also published in the article and surprisingly did it turn out that most of the questions were simple, yet at times unthinkable even by scholars.

One of those questions that awestruck me was, 'If we are really born to die, why are we actually born?'. An interrogation to which no one can render a provable answer. But it is something worth thinking, to reflect upon. Truly, if death is the end of everything, what difference our birth makes to ourselves and to this bluish earth, or rather the entire, ever expansive universe? Why are we really born? What is our true purpose? Where is the undiscovered truth hiding? When will the battle between scientists and theologists draw down? When will the frontiers between atheists, the agnostic and the faithful diminish if at all will they will ever be erased? What is the essence of life? Scientists, astronauts and theologists have all their own confessions and discoveries but has the dispute towards reasoning of our presence ended? Are our lives preplanned and this is only the execution phase? What/who will palpably describe the sanctity of life and death and of God and Angels? Thousands of questions flicker in my mind. Luckily and gladly, most of them have been answered by Dr.Brian Weiss in his books and through his works, nevertheless, as quoted by the doctor himself, one can never find an absolute and totally satisfying proof.  In any case, through his works, we have hit a huge milestone. A great and continuous accomplishment in digging the secrets of life hole. Kudos and my respects to him, any moment. Hopefully, more undisclosed answers to life would be revealed to us by the Masters.

My memory goes back to school days. I was pretty sharp then and was actively participating in all sorts of programmes like singing, playing roles in drama while excelling at studies as well. One of those times came a chance to take part in a small contest by a computer academy, in which, upon dialing a number, a question would be asked and for the right answer you will be gifted with a prize. When the eager and enthusiastic me pressed the number, much to my excitement, the question was, 'Who is the first Indian woman to land on the space'. Happy at the question came the prompt response from me, 'Kalpana Chawla'. Voila, for being correct, I received a lovable cool crimson red glass plate. Ever since then the fan count of the intelligent astronaut increased by one. I remember reading later, an interview of hers once she returned from space in which she was asked how she felt to see earth from the space. And she had replied, "Our earth looks so bluish and beautiful from outside. What saddens me is that we have kept our planet untidy from inside." True, our planet mother doesn't deserver such a treatment. I was amazed by this woman. As time passed, needless to mention, I was one among those deeply upset on her unexpected demise when the space shuttle crashed. At that tender stage I couldn't stop thinking how it would feel to die at space! What would she have felt at those moments? Was she destined to die high from earth and if so, did she realize it sooner or later? Where did she go from there? Was such a death equivalent to that 'on earth'? Or did she deserve some extra edge for this demise? Will she ever come back and after her return, will she be aware that she has travelled and explored the space? Will her destiny continue from where it was left in her previous lifetime? To my greed, will she ever know I have these questions deep at heart?

Back to present. I have been struggling to remember the days of a week in French. Les jours de la semaine - Lundi, Mardi, Mercredi, Jeudi, Vendredi. (Forget Samedi and Dimanche, they are easier to recollect.) The main problem I knew I had was to relate those days with the equivalents of English, though I never attempted to translate and learn. Once a thought stuck as to how a week is usually related to planets. Tamil, for instance. It was astonishing to know that the same is applicable for French as well. That is, the name Lundi is related to the term Lunar(thingal in Tamil), Mardi to Mars (Sevvai), Mercredi to Mercury (Bhudhan), Jeudi to Jupiter (Vyazhan) and Vendredi to Venus (Velli). My questions begin then and there. Why are the days associated with planets? What is the significance of it? Remembering the days have now become easier for me, still, will/can anybody get me the answer(s) for these questions? I would be grateful to those who make it all clear to me.   

Having shared all these, today, Jupiter and Venus have come far closer to the crescent moon, brilliantly and spectacularly shining. How I wish someday, the answers to my questions would come closer to me too and enlighten the sinful soul in me!

Back

About to get back to normal routine very very soon and I am so unsure if I am going to love it or not. I am therefore leaving it all at God's feet. Mainly, I don't want to quit writing of any kind that I have been doing recently. I want to pursue, I want to pursue and I am not willing to make it all turn a thing of past. Hopefully, my perseverence will lead me towards my small goals. Otherwise, I am so amazed at how time can pass so quickly before we could blink. Perhaps it had been looking that way as I was doing what I wanted to do in my life. One of my childhood dreams. And I was literally living my dreams!

Had been a while since I blogged though I wanted to write about lots and lots. Infact, to blog frequently is one of my resolutions for this year, to follow throughout in future too, I mean. And oh, I forgot to mention the conversation I had recently with a foreigner. She incidentally happened to be a french native and when I listened to her speaking in french with her pal, I couldn't restrict myself turning to her to have a chit-chat. Of course, she was equally excited as me, having found someone who could speak her language, which is very, very rare. We discussed and shared our thoughts about food, lifestyle, family, education and everything. A conversation that lasted for almost half an hour after which I had to head to my home. Much more to this event, I admired if I could speak that much spontaneously in a language that I have been learning for quite a time. That made me super contented, not to mention her appreciating my language too.  A memorable and unexpected experience, a dream come true!

I happened to watch two french films, Jean d'Arc and La Famille de Wolburg, of which I adored the former. The latter seemed bit annoying and out of substance to me. Tongy if I named it right, is still in queue. I also felt lucky to attend a student exchange program thereby realizing one of my childhood dreams. Apparently, my ambitions are getting realized with time and I must say, I'm happy about it. Erstwhile, I am looking forward to buying more books, read a lot and continue writing. And the biggest hope is I should not forget whatever I had learnt until now. And I wont, because I love it. I absolutely love it and therefore it will never fade away from my mind. So are my experiences all these months. I have met adorable, different people from various walks of life, learnt a lot personally.

So, these are my pending updates, my dear blog. Catch you soon with my other news that God has for me in pipeline. For now, logiciel and The Women's Era of Delhi Press are inviting!

The Why Question

Ask a layman or a genious if the habit of questioning 'why' is a good sign and as most would expect, the reply would be a big 'yes'. In fact, many would stress that 'Why'-ing is an indication of curiosity, intellectualism, creativity blah blah and would commend you if you heed to it. It is all right, I agree, but not everytime and everywhere. To me, questioning is not always laudable, reasons being that it could often poke into a person's personal space or at times, the interrogated wouldn't have a convincible answer. Normally, I fall into the category of the latter, yet, rarely, I lose the interest to answer, too.

In most cases, I have been incessantly questioned when I get chance to meet strangers or people nearly strange. I am quoting from some of my day-to-day experiences I have had, just for a funny remembrance:

When I accidentally meet those to-be-friends, those relatives with whom I have lost touch for quite a number of years or those I am at the verge of forgetting, the first spontaneous chain of words from them is, 'So.. where do you work?'. I respond meekly, 'Xyz company'. (You may pounce at me that such happenings are common anywhere. But to me, a question is a question. The more the same question is asked, the more does it irk me.) And the conversation continues as:

He/She: Been in same company all these years?

Me: Yes

He/She: Why? No intention to move to this Abc company? The daughter of my neighbour's cousin's brother's... is working there.

Me: *Blink Blink*

He/She: How do you commute everyday?

Me: Train

He/She: Bus is more comfortable than train. Train generally is full of rush. Why do you go by train then?

Me: *Blink Blink* (Too impatient to even answer briefly)

He/She: Hey, didn't you travel abroad? My friend's son works for the same company and he has travelled some four times.

Me: Blink Blink.. Yeah (God knows what this yeah means).

Friend: How long have you been working?

Me: N years

Friend: N years!! OMG! You must have been so patient to have worked for these many years, aren't you?

Me. He he. Yeah, perhaps! 

Friend: So, what do you do? 

Me: I work in Xyz

Friend: Oh cool!! Then why are you participating in this programme? Why do you want to try this out? Why this.. and why that.. Why here.. why there...

Me: :| :'(

And the list goes on and on. All these might sound too corny but I am highly nagged to listen to the same questions over and over, especially to those I personally have no logical answers.Tell someone you are in a job and they ask you why this job. Or tell that you don't work right now and still you are asked why. Tell them you are married and you are questioned oh, why so soon. Or that you aren't yet and they ask you, what?, it's high time! My response to such inundated questions is just a simple smile as I don't have an answer myself to most of the ones posed at me. Probably one day I would rationally come up with a reasonable reaction. Until then, things would be just as they are. No reasons. No logic.

There was this saying by Pearl Bailey that I read once I was randomly googling - 'I don't really look forward to anything. I just wake up in the morning everyday and whichever way God turns my feet, I go.'. And that perfectly describes me!

Su Do Ku

How I detested it in the past and how I adore it now! Once there was this puzzle-solving session during my college days and I struggled to complete correctly even half of the Su Do Ku the prof gave. Highly amazed at some of my classmates cracking it in less than half an hour, I came to deciding then and there that this is not gonna be my cup of tea. Never. Ever since then I never bothered or volunteered to try it. So all these years, a strict no-no to Su Do Ku even if someone would offer me a crore to solve one easy puzzle. And more so, not even a head-turn from me on those appearing in the everyday newspapers, either.

Therefore it all remained the same until one fine day when my neurons worked overtime and sent (rather received?) a signal to try it out. I was so surprised at how I could do it too. Not to mention that all these days, I had consiously put myself behind and never let myself try the simplest of things. Today, things are upside down with it. I don't find a day complete without solving atleast two of it. Day by day, I am observing myself the improvement I show tremendously.

Practice makes perfect and hopefully someday I will reach heights with my writing, too. Still there are lots of areas where I would wish to lay my hands. The list never ends. However, glad, my thought processes are continuously improving and so am I. Kudos to myself, this time. I love Su Do Ku!

Security As Such

Of late, I must say, certain undesirable happenings have forced me to think over the importance or perhaps the role of men in any woman's life, in general and to point it out straight- in terms of security. All these years I have never felt the uncontrollable adrenaline rush of noticing someone frequenting around your residence trying to capture a glimpse of what's in who's, let alone seeing a robber.

Twice has it happened that I came to casually note that 'someone' moving around at midnight and the sense of panic cannot be described in words. The ever-increasing pressures of economic conditions remain one of the main reasons for increase in thefts, not to mention the influence of films. Darn it.  By God's grace nothing serious has happened in our appartment as safety measures have been undertaken, yet questions keep popping in my brain's window on the security issues that still bothers women in our so called modern society. I repeat the nostalgic verses from my high-school prayer - My angels, protect me.

Having said that, anytime, it is an undeniable fact that the presence of men poses an increase in security irrespective of whether they are truly courageous or not and if they will really be of help in case of emergency or when in need. The mere presence of such a male, I guess, protects us to a great extent. I sense that, the much needed psychological feel of security is practically multiplied with a father/brother/husband figure.

I recollect that once we got stuck at a famous temple with no buses to catch at midnight. Thankfully came another family under similar situation and know what, with the aide of a woman, her entire family including her hubby and us, could catch an auto, chase a bus, successfully get into it and reach home back at that odd hours. All of this was led by a woman and the man in her family was nothing more than a simple presence. But as I imagine the situation without him, I could strongly relate that the already prevailing challege of getting back at untimely hours would have still become a bigger problem, had the gent not been there.

Although it is commonly worded that women are independant now-a-days, events such as these reinforce the necessity of a fatherly figure in the least of concerns. I constantly wonder what gave my mother the courage to bring her children up single-handedly and I consciously keep myself up and brave when insecurity raises its head at times. Nothing is totally new in this world and it is all to be faced, I tell myself.

Hopefully

Back to blogging with my first post of this year. With all the hustle-bustles of life I had almost forgotten that I own a blog and that I wanted to pen down as and when I was triggered to write. Not been into blogger for quite a time, now as I read myself my posts it looks as if the events have all happened yesterday.  2011 was a mixed year, I have had my own share of happiness, desires, sorrows, disappointments, the grief of missing loved ones, confusions and what not! A year filled with experiences to mould myself in and out. And before I could blink, a month has crossed in 2012! How time runs, hmm.. And it sounds interesting and a bit funny to re-read my own few posts and now I imagine how much would I have progressed/transformed in terms of thought processes and as a person as such if and when I go through all of my writings years later. To discover and rediscover what I was, I am and what I would be.. this is a neat platform. I hope and wish to continue writing! May blog keep me inspired and motivated! God bless!

Memories from the City of Palaces

I had always wanted to scribble about my earlier visit to Mysore but was wondering if it is too late and that I may not remember much of stuff to be put into a reasonable blog.  However, things fell into place and my memories refreshed when I came to read today about the cursed royalty of Mysore kingdom (Courtesy - DC's today's supplement). Coincidentally, this day, exactly two years back, was my unforgettable trip to Mysore. So there is a reason for blogging, atleast not a too bad reason to not blog about it :P.

Wandering around the city for two days, I was totally impressed by the tranquility of the City of Palaces and its greenery while getting a glimpse into its beauty. Not to mention, drizzling turned the city a lot more dazzling. Hmmm.. if only this hot Chennai had more trees :(. Back to flashback.  During the visit, I heard from an acquaintance about the curse that the Mysore kings had succumbed to and the kingdom still giving in to it. Here it goes.. (part of this history excerpted from today's DC)...

Raja Wodeyar who ruled Mysore during the 16th Century conquered the fort of Srirangapatna from the then Viceroy of Vijayanagar - Tirumala. Shortly after Tirumala's death, Alamelamma, his wife had safeguarded a collection of magnificient jewellery with which she adorned the idol of Sri Ranganayaki, every Tuesday and Friday. When she was commanded to surrender the valuables to the king Raja Wodeyar, she not only denied but to escape from the king's rage, fell into the river Cauvery with the jewels, after uttering a curse that the Rajas of Mysore would never have their progeny until eternity.

Through my trip, I learnt, history has proven that the curse has turned out true. The successive rulers of Raja Wodeyar have all been adopted (excepting Narasaraja Wodeyar II). Much to my astonishment, I had heard that the adopted rulers have always had offsprings as they are not from the direct lines and then as the curse plays its role promptly, these offsprings would never have their heirs. The story iterates. That was the first time I came to know of a (hi)story on a curse (and that it turned out to be reality) and it made me marvel, how powerful words could be!! Or rather, is it just a coincidence?! I don't think so. Apparently, even the Royal Highness couldn't get away from a harsh curse.

As it would always happen, my mind did a quick Ctrl + F in my brain's memory unit to cross-check if I had cursed anyone, knowingly or unknowingly. And it turns out that, neither am I Alamelamma and I hope, nor would my curses come true, if at all there was any :P.  A serious and quite a lengthy writing on curses and enough on this subject. Other places we visited were the Ranganthittu Bird Sanctuary, Nanjudeshwarar temple, Chamundi Hills and the most exotic Balmuri. We also visited yet another Shiva temple and sought the Lord's blessings. Also etched in my mind is the amazingly beautiful place we got to stay and the fun we had had while gulping all hot food out of hunger. I miss it, for sure :|

Moving on to one another memorable experience. The guide who accompanied us in the mysore palace showed us the 'infinite mirrors'. Interestingly, none of us identified that those were brilliant infinite-mirrors until the guide had actually mentioned it. All that we (including the boys in our group) had done was to stare at our own faces in the mirror and admire if we were looking good or bad or so tired or dull. Upon realising what we had all done in common, there was a hearty laugh amongst us :D. It seems nothing is as admirable as one's own face, we conversed. And that makes a laughable end to this post, I hope!

New Lessons Learnt

I was proven wrong with some of my conceptions recently. Let me explain. Because languages are one of my passions, my spirit had said, two things pertaining to languages are damn easy and strangely, my mind agreed to it. Woo-hoo, my heart and mind finally agreeing on a point! Most of my days end up with an irresolvable dispute between the two and that they both coming down for a reconciliation can be nominated as a wonder of the world! Forget their endless fights, for now. I hope to blog on them when I feel the time is right.

Number one. A thought that existed in my mind, not sure since when, is that language teaching is a cool thing. And to teach your own mother tongue to someone totally strange to it is not a daunting task, either. To merely perceive things when not putting them into practice, is easy, correct? And there came an opportunity to teach my mother tongue to a foreigner and I wanted to utilize it - not for money, I bet. Engrossed in setting up a teaching plan, I was enthralled at how difficult it is to teach someone a language, although the language has been blended so well with your life. I also got to know myself that each language is unique, beautiful and has its own toughness in learning. And at the end, I had to lose the opportunity, just because I was not a professional tutor. I am not regretting it, for it has got me a good learning, changing my perception. Some day if I were given a similar opportunity, I surely will opt for it again, but this time knowing that it requires patience and practice.

Number two. Whenever I watched subtitled audio/video or even movies, it never struck me that transcribing isn't easy. My recent experience proved me how difficult it is. Believe it or not, it takes hours to perfectly transcribe a simple audio/video of 5 minutes duration. Since then, the way I look at subtitling is reversed altogether.

The motive behind sharing these two experiences is just to reflect on how reality is different from imagination. Appearance can many times be deceptive, whether the insight is from your mind or heart otherwise sometimes from within both!

A definition to courageousness

She looks like one of the women-next-door types, but it is stunning to know her achievements. Having got a chance to listen to a motiviational and spellbounding speech by Mrs.Girija Raghavan, I felt privileged and very much inspired. What I knew of her earlier is that she is a television host generally for women-based programmes and I hardly remember her running a magazine targeted at women. The EDP session, however, revealed that this is just one amongst her many facets.

It was during my high schooling that I happened to watch her afternoon programme 'Pengal ulagam', if I remember the name correctly. Time never permitted me to fully watch it as I would be rushing to get ready to school. We had only half-day classes those months, thanks to the twelfth board exam arrangements in our campus. That was the time we had only a handful of private channels and her programmes used to be very simple, yet interesting. And this is how and what I came to know of this lady.

Back to the EDP, she was to give a speech to a heterogeneous group on successful entrepreneurship. And she spoke of herself, the challenges she had to overcome, failures and of course, hitting the peak of success mountain. A lady of total courageousness, who quitted a lucrative bank job to follow her passion founded 'Ladies Special' magazine which today has around 50,000 subscribers to its credit. She shared her first-hand good and bad experiences that she had had with her initial venture of releasing audio casettes. Even with big losses and repeated failures, she never moved away from her passion! And her secret to success is that she made mistakes but never repeated it! It is wonderful to hear that this lady has headed towards social service too. A successful entrepreneur, she leads and guides budding self-employed women, cares for them and for the society. Mindblowing!

To add more to my experience, it was delighting to shake firm hands with this interesting lady. She too was glad to know that I had become a fan of hers :). My respect for this woman increased in folds when she confessed that she has been a single woman for almost two decades! Her point was that if a struggling single woman can achieve this much, why can't the youngsters of today?! Point accepted. Youngsters today have much opportunities and nothing can obstruct if one has the guts to exercise dreams into reality! On the whole, a cherishable event. I hope to follow her footsteps.

The saddest part is that, while she finished her speech and before she prepared to leave, almost 75% of our educated audiences were busy moving out. See how much respect one demonstrates for a chief-guest in our nation. Terrible for the aspiring entrepreneurs to have behaved that way! A high-profiled woman, she didn't mind it, but the attitude of the attendees wasn't a good sign. I think it is high time we learned good behaviours and social gestures.

Lady's day out

Few circumstances led her to stay away from home for a mere two days and it taught her quite a lot. A learning about appreciating what one has in life and be satisfied at, nevertheless not meaning not to aim for a higher purpose. The experience showcased what all good things she has for herself, a safe shelter to reside, good clothes and what not! One among these homosapiens with a 10 feet long tongue when it comes to food and doesn't compromise if any of the taste buds isn't ok with, now knows how fortunate she is to have the food come to her place, dawn and dusk.

I once remember my friend sharing with me one of her acquaintance's issues with life and her continuous struggle which made me wonder why God doesn't help these good hearted humans at big life crisis. And whilst I posed the same question to my pal, the answer was, "She has a whole lot of things to sort out, but she should learn to appreciate what she has got first and try to be happy". And, that is right!

Fascinated by the workings of the mind, one of my constant thinkings is, how the brain chooses to ignore the good and fortunate things it has got and prefers pondering over what it has missed or unlucky at! But by being consious over such popping thoughts, I guess, we can push ourselves into happiness, for our own sake.

Today, I too have taken a resolution to praise all the good ones I own and move ahead towards my destiny.

Hot Water

My latest companion, P.G. Wodehouse's Hot Water. Not too much a fast paced novel, but guaranteed for keeping you occupied. Kinda bored with the adventurous novels these days. Too much of adventure sucks, in my opinion. Hoping for some new plot in the 'Laughing Gas' which is in my hands now after 'Hot Water'. Got to know what it is from its preface, yet to start reading it in a stretch and hope it impresses me this time too. I dream of owning all his books one day, and wish someone gifts me this collection, too ;).

Good old(?) childhood memories

There are days when you hear a song at radio at your desk, mobile or even on the roadside and you keep humming it through out the day. There have also been times when some song suddenly creeps into your mind with no reason. And trying to look from where it entered into your mind leaves you perplexed. There is one such a song that has been getting spilled from my mouth for almost a complete day or two. The number I am talking about is one from the doordarshan era, the title song of the renowned serial 'Shaktimaan'. There is no peculiar reason for why I loved the song and I can remember few lines of it even now.

While I hum the song I am dragged to the fantastic days of my childhood which was worrilesss, a period of dreams and hopes even during most of the hardships, to add to it. Though I was not an ardent follower of television or cinema (and yes, even at present!), I watched the drama as and when I could and I am a fan of the hilarious Gangadhar. I have patted myself to be lucky for having got a sheet of Shaktimaan lables, which I stuck to my notebooks with all happiness in the world. I can recall profoundly my peeping into kitchen from outside its window during ads, while my lovable mom made the delicious appalam. The soul in me sought the best out of everything and was totally carefree, whilst persuing what it wanted. And the same soul still lives on.

The dreams of the soul have altered now, but its spirit still prevails as youthful as it was then. I am one of the kind to be blessed in finding pleasure in the simplest of things and believe that simplicity is the root to happiness. I dare doing what my heart says, success and failure never matter. It is a dark path that I am traveling, but I am sure to overcome the obstacles and reach where I want to be, in near future. If there is light at the end of the tunnel, I hope to reach it, here and also at the 'other' side. Eventually, I hope to find who I am.

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